"Chapter One: Gettin' Hitched" was so great. From dreaming, to planning, to execution.. everything was wonderful. However, I never recapped our wedding. To be honest, I couldn't recap our wedding until January 2011 - a full six months after our wedding. This was because our wedding was selected to be one of three featured weddings in Seattle Bride Magazine. They frown upon blog inclusion until after the issue has been printed... and by the time that the issue came out I was so consumed with other things that I just didn't make time to blog. I have so much to share from our day - so many special moments, memories and photos... and that will come with time.
...but right now I have something more important to share.
We are expecting a baby! Our son (name TBA) will be making his grand appearance sometime around December 4, 2011. We are so incredibly excited to be adding to our family - and yes, even Miss Grace is excited to be a big sister. :)
We started trying to get pregnant in October of 2010. It happened almost immediately. By December 5, 2010 we had a positive pregnancy test sitting on our bathroom counter and smiles plastered on our faces. The joy we felt was indescribable. We were going to be parents - our estimated due date was August 16, 2011. We interviewed doctors and found the most incredible team at Evergreen Woman's Care at Evergreen Hospital. We announced our pregnancy to our families on Christmas morning and our closest friends at a holiday party we hosted. Life. Was. Perfect.
And then, right after we told our families on Christmas, I started spotting. I was terrified. I spotted continuously between Christmas and New Years Day. And then it stopped. During the spotting I was on the phone with my doctor's office daily with updates. They explained that, if I was in fact losing the baby, that there was nothing that could be done to save the baby... that it was too early in the pregnancy...
Sure enough, beginning of January we learned that we had lost our baby. This was/is quite possibly one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life. It's so hard to explain the feeling... We were only approximately 6-8 weeks along in the pregnancy when the spotting started, but by then my body and emotions had definitely been taken over by the pregnancy. Changes had taken place and I was very attached to the thought of being a mother. I felt like a failure. And, even though I know that there was nothing that could have been done by doctors to save the baby NOR was there anything that I could have done differently to ensure that the baby would keep and continue to grow, I still felt like a failure. I felt like a horrible wife - that I couldn't give my husband a child. If you've read or seen The Help - the character Celia Foote does an incredible job depicting how I felt after my miscarriage. (Not sure if it is the same for all women...) The miscarriage really affected me. Looking back now, I can say that it definitely was the catalyst that spun me into a depression. I drank a lot of wine, spent a lot of time alone, and just wasn't myself.
By March I had realized what was happening. I wasn't happy and I was stuck. I started working hard to make positive changes in my life - figuring out what I needed to do to better myself. If I was happy and healthy, I could get pregnant again. So I joined Weight Watchers, started walking/exercising, and cut back on the wine. I was seeing results and was feeling great.
One weekend I was getting ready to start an Advocare cleanse and I was reading the instructions... "If you are pregnant or suspect you are pregnant, do not participate int he cleanse." That's when it hit me. I couldn't remember my last period. My husband went down to the local drugstore and came back with a test...
Beginning of April, only four short months after our miscarriage, we were pregnant again... and this time we weren't even trying. We were almost 8 weeks pregnant.
Weeks 8-12 were really difficult. I was absolutely terrified that I was going to go through everything that I had just gone through a few months prior... We went to the doctor at 12 weeks and confirmed our pregnancy. Everything was textbook perfect. Week 13 we went to Hawaii with our close friends to celebrate a marriage. We shared the news with the world the week of Father's Day at 16 weeks pregnant. Everyone has been so incredibly supportive and excited for this pregnancy, it really has been incredible.
We are currently 28wks 6days pregnant with 11wks 1day left on the countdown. We have a huge, healthy, active life growing inside of me. I am so in love with my son and I haven't even met him yet. The pregnancy has been wonderful. I love being pregnant - especially now that we are in the "safe zone." Everything is great, and I'll even take the swollen feet/ankles/legs and jabs under my ribs.
I can already tell he takes after his daddy - he likes to bother me when I am trying to sleep. :)
Here are some photos from our 20wk ultrasound. He's gorgeous, isn't he?
Sucking his thumb already... and it looks like his left hand. Maybe he'll be a lefty?
I love his button nose.
Definitely a big boy. When we shared this photo with our doctor he exclaimed, "Wow! Nice sac!" and my husband simply smiled proudly. :)
So, that's it. We're expecting. Can't wait to re-enter blog-land....and catch up on everything!
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